Invisible Healing

   

Dr. Emily says: "It takes time to heal."

Doc Martin explains: "The patient may look normal on the outside,
but intense healing and growth is happening on the inside."

In the past week, a theme circulated through the Facebook group of hamstring injuries I belong to: a theme invisible healing.  As we move through the healing process, there comes a time when we wean ourselves from crutches, the limp gradually disappears, and we try to re-enter our world.  Though we appear "normal" on the outside, the healing continues and accommodations must still be made to decrease pain and continue optimal healing.  As my cyber-hamstring buddies relay, they experience sneers from co-workers, pressure from family, and misunderstandings from close friends when we look normal on the outside but have pain on the inside. Even people who work in wonderful team environments with a generally supportive workforce experience it. Why does she need a stand-up sit-down desk? Shouldn't she be better by now? I saw her at the mall last week, certainly if she can shop, she can come back to work at full capacity! You look great, when is your next race? 

     Sharing our struggles with returning to work, I know that this problem is not just limited to those with proximal hamstring injuries and surgery. This unfortunate judgment and misunderstanding applies for all "invisible" diseases or health problems.  People are silently suffering everywhere you look.  Whether they are healing from injury, going through a divorce, facing mental illness including clinical depression, processing through grief, or dealing with chronic pain or chronic health problems; these situations can appear very normal on the outside while intense healing is going on inside.

     The thing that got to me most about the stories of my cyber-hamstring buddies is that they are amazing people!  Active, dedicated professionals who have given themselves fully to their occupations.  Don't they deserve a little credit?  Are they REALLY just trying to get out of doing their jobs? Are the REALLY trying to get special treatment? Nobody asked for their injury to happen.  It has created an extremely inconvenient stop in the momentum of their lives.  Everyone wants to get back to work, and everyone wants to be able to perform at their prior level.  The nature of the beast is that it takes time to heal.  Our injury is quite literally a pain in the ass, and even sitting for long periods is difficult for quite some time. Everyone healing wants desperately to get back to it! Unfortunately, our intrinsic healing mechanisms determine how fast this will happen.  For the most part, there is very little we can do or think to speed up the process. We are all optimizing our nutrition, heeding our doctors' advice, and participating in reasonable activity for our timeline.

    When I go up to work next week to clean out my locker and say goodbye, my co-workers may wonder why, if I have come so far and look so normal, I felt I had to change jobs.  Maybe some will think I gave up, maybe some will think I abandoned my post...or maybe that is just the doubting-Thomas in my own head, projecting my own fears.  In the end, I am the only one who can judge the physical risks I am willing to take. Our disability laws in the United States require employers to provide "reasonable accommodation".  For me, "reasonable accommodation" meant changing jobs.  For others, it may mean a special desk, working from home, or adjusted work hours.   

     I implore to all the colleagues, managers, and supervisors out there welcoming back anyone from medical or family leave, that the best "reasonable accommodation" to ensure maximum efficiency starts with a healthy dose of empathy.  Whether we are coming back after physical injury, medical treatment, a new baby, the loss or care of a loved one, or psycho-emotional crisis, we are back because we want to be. I challenge our society to take a few breaths and withhold judgment.  Be kind to each other.  Assume the best intentions and know these healing individuals are doing absolutely everything in their power to get back to where they want to be!